Crooked Smile

So I was listening to J Cole's "Crooked Smile" this morning and I had to smile.  I had to laugh a little bit because I have a crooked smile.   I've had it since I was 16.  I don't remember the date, but I remember the day.   I was sitting in the cafeteria with some of my high school friends and I started feeling a tingle in the right side of my face.   And then nothing.  I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.....that side of my face wasn't moving.   I'd contracted something called Bell's Palsey.   

Since then, I've worn a crooked smile.  I went to the doctor.  I did facial exercises and got a bit better, but never fully back to 100%.   The rest of my teenage years and well into adulthood I battled feeling self conscious about it.   People asked if I'd had a stroke; all kinds of things.   I didn't take pictures.  I didn't want to, because all I could see was this flaw on my face.   Talk about adding to your teenage angst. 

I did a lot of hiding out.  Retreating into my own head.  But you know what I've learned.....flaws happen.  We all have them.  Some are right on your face, and some are internal and only you and God know about them.  But they are there.  None of us have it all together at any given moment.   But guess what, I've learned that it's ok to be flawed.   It's ok to have this crooked smile.   It's part of what makes me me and if all you see is the crooked smile, then you're gonna miss some really dope stuff!   

So embrace those flaws!  We'd all be robots without them!

Excerpt from "Crooked Smile" - J. Cole

Take it from a man that loves what you got
And baby girl you're a star, don't let 'em tell you you're not
Now is it real? Eyebrows, fingernails, hair
Is it real? if it's not, girl you don't care
Cause what's real is something that the eyes can't see
That the hands can't touch
That them broads can't be, and that's you
Never let 'em see you frown
And if you need a friend to pick you up, I'll be around
And we can ride with the windows down, the music loud
I can tell you ain't laughed in a while
But I wanna see that crooked smile